As his father Amin said… “Pierre 7ay Fina” is not a slogan, it is a feeling.
His memorial this year fell on Thanksgiving…and I don’t think this is a coincidence. We should give thanks with all our might, give thanks for knowing him, give thanks that we have the capacity to remember. Give thanks for being lucky despite everything.

Yes, we are lucky, because no matter how much we go through, no matter how many meddle in our affairs, no matter how desperate the situation becomes, we will always have people amongst us that are ready to stand up for what they believe in.
People like Pierre who lived a short but eventful life.
Pierre would not and did not give up. He lived his entire adult life with one aim, one goal…a Free, Independent Lebanon.
A country that would be able to stand on its own two feet. A country that would guarantee a decent life for its citizens. A country that would give its younger generation hope in the future, not just hope in a visa.
Pierre did not get to live his dream fully. He was killed on 21.11.06. He was shot… a cold, brutal death. Yet his death is a wake up call to all of us.
One Pierre died and was burried?
but how many more can live again in his footsteps?
One Pierre cannot hold his children anymore?
but how many of us should now cherish every moment we have with our families?
One Pierre cannot be with his wife anymore?
but how many us should hold on tightly to our loved ones in his memory?
Pierre would never fully die…because his memory lives on through each and every one of us.
Every tear we shed today is a symbol that we will always remember him. A symbol that even though we should naturally move on, yet we should never forget.

My words are simply a drop in the ocean of his achievements…and they are simply a small testimony to his life.

Pierre 7ay Fina..

i just received this via email.

Civil war does not necessarily start the same way every time. For people who are still waiting for the “bus of 75″, it will not pass this time. 3 people were killed on Tuesday and 4 today, until now… It won’t stop. Now it’s in between people; and our leaders didn’t understand yet that they are burning the country. They are still blaming each other and trying to use what’s happening for their political interest.

The war with Israel is easy… we know the enemy. Now the enemy is us.  Welcome to the renewed civil war.

Thirty years ago our parents watched the same thing on TV and said it’s going to stop in few days… And guess what? It stayed for 15! What role everyone of us will play: sit in the shelters, fight with the party/tribe we belong to, close everything and leave the country, sit and argue on who’s responsible… Maybe we need one more war and we deserve it. It seems we didn’t learn enough the last 30 years.

It’s so painful to see our country being destroyed… Our people are killing each other. Now Sunnites and Shiites, tomorrow Christians and Christians and after tomorrow Christians and Druze… Welcome to the jungle of corruption, theocrats, autocrats, war lords, feudalists… Welcome to the jungle of confessions and the consociational democracy, the big lie of the 21 ^st century.

I’m sitting in the office, watching Lebanese TV stations: Fadlallah, Seniora, Karame, Kabalan, Hariri, Berri, Kanaan, Rice and Chirac… How can we even think that this country will go better… when people are killing each other in Beirut, Omar Karame is on TV making a speech and people are shouting: “inta l’mufti ya omar”.

Are we going to argue in 30 years from now if it’s the war of others in Lebanon or if it’s a civil war? Yes, we are responsible of this war. We are responsible of every moment we spent arguing in favor of any of the opposition or March 14. We need to wake up…

When we were able to do something, we didn’t succeed… I’m not sure we can any more. I understand more than ever why youth are leaving the country for good… I’m loosing hope. Can we do something? Can we stop it? Unfortunately, I feel it’s too late. Good luck for all what you will try to do in the first civil war in the third millennium.

Congratulations to all of us for the great work we did to make our country repeat its history.

Congratulations to all our politicians who lead us to this situation. We knew that this is their way to lead and they have no problem repeating the war for the sake of being in power.

Congratulations to us citizens and civil society for still believing that these politicians are still capable of leading this country… and for being divided because of our blind support to them.

If you are waiting for the “Bus” to pass to know that civil war started again… I can assure you it won’t pass again…

Gilbert

January 25, 2007

a regular student in the library, checked out a movie that i wanted to watch for class, and then i think… let me check my mobile phone and i get the message. they killed pierre.

i may look like a regular student… but you know whats different about me? i am lebanese. and as a lebanese i cannot expect to have the usual worries other people have. no as a lebanese you just have to think of murder and death every single minute of ever single day. heaven forbid you feel like a normal person for two days in a row.

as i was walking back home, i could only think of one incident, which is a bit sad really. it was in a thread long ago about the president of lebanon. and i remember debating with 3ajib, where i said i want my president to be handsome at least. and he asked… do you mean pierre el gemayel? and all i could think about walking home…was that he couldnt be president now. he doesnt even have that option anymore. and what is his crime? he is working in politics in lebanon.

 i can honestly say that i have seen him twice. the first time was about four years ago. i was working in a patisserie in bikfaya and he was chatting with my boss. they kept laughing and his laugh was so loud. he was just telling jokes. god rest his soul, he always had a smile on his face.

the second time i met him was last year  in the opening of beit el kataeb.

 the question here remains… what is our fate? what is to become of us? is this what we have to look forward to? so many people dying. so young. he could have achieved so much still. why are we doing this to ourselves…

and you know whats worse?

that soon people will for the most part forget. they will get on with their lives. trying to be normal until the next blast hits.

but for how long can we endure? and what are these people all dying for?

forgive a girl that has been abroad for about a month not to be aware of all the “new” gossip in lebanon. but to hear people talk of bringing back jamil elsayyid and considering him a “good” candidate for the interior ministry has got to be a drastic change! and to have amal and HA guys discussing amongst themselves that maybe el sayyid could be the next head of parliament must be amazing!!

what is going on in this country we call home?

what are we doing to ourselves?

have we become so tired of maybe seeking independence and decided that the syrian boot is all we can achieve? yeah i guess that must be it. we just dont like being free.

are we destined to run around in circles bringing back criminals once and again until they die? if that is our destiny, i’d rather not worry anymore, let them have full reign, let us all think of leaving.

and whats even more funny is that these people believe we should compensate el sayyid jamil el sayyid for his days in prison by giving him an important role. now isnt that nice? i wonder whether el sayyid compensated the old man that stood up to him one night in a restaurant because he didnt want to leave the table on el sayyid’s orders? i wonder if that man was compensated for being taken to jail on a whim?

but no, of course we should compensate a dirty, corrupt, criminal…

 i dont know what to say, the disappointment i feel is increasing by the moment and by ever word that comes out of my fellow patriots’ mouths.

Hands shaking
tears in my eyes falling and falling.
i am such a coward, i know that now
but why?
why cant i be like the heroes i love
why cant i be like the people i see and hear about
why am i so scared all the time
i can hear them now
metal, unfeeling, cold… yet
this same metal has power, more power than i will ever have
this metal flying over me can kill me,
why dont they?
the screen is getting hazy,
some war this is,
a war and internet!! just so you know you’re in 2006
2006,
with all this technology
there is one thing we havent been able to beat
and that is…
hate; pure hatred that leads to death.

Monday 24 July, 2006.

this was one day where a 23 year old girl (my age almost) went to do what she did best - take photos. yet this girl, unlike many others, was not going to live out that day. Layal Nagib, a journalist that believed it her cause to “show”, “portray”, “present”, through her eyes and her lenses, she wanted people to “see”. this is the tragedy of human kind, the tragedy that leads to our death. Layal did not die by mistake… she died because this was her cause.

this young lebanese girl, who usually photographed in studios for a magazine, chose to go to the south. chose that her last picture would be one of a woman dead under the rubble.

was it worth it?

this is a question i ask myself everyday. if Layal had known her fate, would she have gone anyway? she had no experience, no financial need, and yet she went. she went and she made her last picture become a lost picture. a picture lost because the finger that pressed on that camera button will press no more.

yet, that last picture will be immortalized, and that last woman under the rubble will be immortalized. Layal did not keep her promise to her family, she did not go back home that day, but one day, one promise should and will be kept…

this is a promise that we should make for ourselves. a promise that every one of us will not take part in causing more death and destruction; this would allow another Layal to keep her promise.

I am a Lebanese citizen that was supposed to be back home on vacation for 3 months. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would witness my entire country being destroyed in front of my eyes. My response to that at first was shock, anger, and frustration. Then, I decided to turn all that anger around and show the entire world what is going on in this small country that has been through so much.

I know that it was Hezbollah who awakened the big mighty bear of Israel. I know that. But, I also know that we, the Lebanese people had nothing to do with it. Even Hezbollah supporters did not want their homes destroyed. Our only crime is that we are too weak. Too weak to disarm anyone or anything. Too weak to form a united stand on anything. This is not our fault, but it is a result of years of war where the average Lebanese citizen had come to realize that his opinion matters very little.

Despite the fact that my anger began against Hezbollah, it took only one day before I realized that Israel also should pay for what they have done. There is nothing “measured” about their response. They destroyed a country that had taken years to be rebuilt and for what?

For a war that is much bigger than Lebanon. For a war that has much bigger fish to fry. Not Hezbollah but Iran, this is the ultimate target. Lebanon is just a playground, a playground that has become totally empty, a playground whose children are dying or starving or scared.

But we will prevail. We will turn over a new leaf, I need to believe that in order to go on. We will get another chance to rebuild and I hope this time, before we rebuild infrastructures and homes, we can rebuild a Lebanon for all. A Lebanon where a Lebanese citizen like me can be proud of their passport and know that their army can protect them, that they don’t need help from any other party.

This is my Lebanon. I hope it will be a Lebanon for ALL.